Welcome, Welcome 2023
It’s that time of year again folks. The end of the year has rolled around even though it feels like just yesterday we were Wordle-ing and watching drama unfold at the Academy Awards. Where does the time go??
Rather than waste our time rehashing this year's events, though, we thought we’d look ahead to what next year might hold. Here are our (definitely very serious and super accurate) predictions for 2023:
1. Balloons
Inflation this, inflation that, but what about the most important kind — balloons! We’re predicting a balloon renaissance in 2023. Red balloons, blue balloons, foil balloons, helium balloons. Rather than asking for the new trendy toy, kids in 2023 are going to beg their parents to get them balloons.
Imagine how much extra height you could get on your jumps with the help of some balloons...
2. End of daylights savings
Maybe this is just wishful thinking, but we’re predicting that Daylight Savings will finally end in 2023. Daylight Savings out, Daylight Spending in. Getting up in the morning is hard enough without all your household clocks arguing about the time, right?
3. Girl Scout cookies reign
2023 will be the year Girl Scout cookies absolutely take over. You’ll walk down the aisles of your local grocery store and only see Girl Scout cookies. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner we’ll all be eating them thanks to their new expanded line of savory flavors like Thin Mince Pie and Do-Si-Dumpling.
4. Taxes
Not to bring down the mood, but taxes are a gimme on our list of predictions. “Only two guarantees” and all that. Try mailing your documents with some of your many new balloons to make the process more enjoyable!
5. S&G releases crib sheets
Gather in close, folks. We have some inside information that maybe, just maybe, Sheets & Giggles will be releasing waterproof eucalyptus crib sheets sometime in 2023. But shhh! It’s a secret! If the babies find out, they may storm our offices with picket signs and demand their comfy cooling sheets right away.
6. New Social Media app
A new social media app will take over in 2023, surpassing TikTok, Instagram, and all the rest. The vision’s a little hazy on what this new app will be called, but we know it will only be for cats. No dog pics, no witty text about your pet hamster. All cat content, all the time.
Sorry pups, you better get started on developing your own app for 2024!
7. Sports teams win
We don’t want to mess with any bookkeepers by making this clairvoyant prediction, but we’re pretty sure that sports teams will win sports competitions in 2023. And, to get even more specific, fans of those teams will celebrate wildly. Outlandish predictions, we know, but we’re sticking by them.
8. 2024 predictions from S&G
We don’t want to get ahead of ourselves here, but if the pattern holds, we predict S&G will release some wildly insightful 2024 predictions at the very end of 2023. Man, this is like inception at this point. Predictions within predictions within… you get the picture.
9. Things get better
2022 was rough at times, but things will get better in 2023. There’s nowhere to go but up, right?
We will handle everything 2023 throws at us — from endless Girl Scout cookies to yet another new social media app — and come out ahead. On a particularly hard day, we can always snuggle into bed and wait for a fresh start tomorrow.
Put on your eye mask and dream of better days ahead in 2023!