Be Awesome in Bed
You're an individual with your own passions, tastes, and story – so why is the most important room in your home the most boring?
Our unique patterns are created by incredibly talented, starving artists from around the world. We set out to make decidedly different designs to help our customers better express themselves in bed.
(No innuendos here; you're reading too much into this.)
100% bamboo lyocell sheets are the comfiest thing out there. They breath in the summer, hold heat in the winter, are incredibly durable, and naturally anti-microbial. Try something softer than cotton or linen.
If you put these on your bed, lie down, and think anything other than "Holy sheet, these are comfy," just contact us for a full refund.
Lower Price than Retail
Do you know how retailers survive in 2018? By charging brands like S&G up to 60-70% of the MSRP you pay in a store. That's it. They don't really add anything of value except for a roof and a parking lot.
So yeah, don't buy premium bedding at retail; buy it here and save a lot of $$$. Maybe you can put those savings into Bitcoin* and thank us in 10 years. Or hate us in 10 minutes.
*As a disclaimer, Bitcoin is a highly volatile cryptocurrency, and you shouldn't take investing advice from a bedding website.
Save the World
Bamboo is sustainable; cotton is not. Even though everyone knows climate change is a hoax invented by the Fake News Media, it's probably best to pollute less, just in case.
When compared with cotton, bamboo uses less pesticides, less insecticides, and crucially, less water. Do your part, and buy our bed sheets.
After you receive your new sheets, send us back your old ones (we'll pay for your postage). We'll donate them to a homeless veteran via our #Give2Sheets program.
It's a win-win: you don't have to feel guilty about throwing or squirreling away old sheets, and you get to share your good deed on social media with a punny hashtag.
We figured plastic packaging was too wasteful, so our sheets come packaged in a durable, branded cloth backpack. Take it with you when you occasionally leave your bedroom for the great outdoors (or more likely, for your job).
And at the risk of being too cliche, we also include an extra surprise in each order that changes with the seasons. Think "things that make my bedroom better."
Our designs are a great conversation starter, so make sure to leave the bedroom door slightly ajar when you have guests over. They'll peer in and assume you're an interesting person because of your sheets.
(They'll figure out their mistake later after they get to know you, obviously, but it's a good first impression.)
100-Day Return Policy
We include a pre-addressed envelope in every order so you can donate your other, now-unused sheets via our #Give2Sheets program.
Alternatively, you can also use the envelope to return your order. Shipping is on us – just email firstname.lastname@example.org for a prepaid shipping label.
Are You Still Reading?
They told me to list 9 features, but I can only think of 8. I guess the sheets... don't require electricity?
Pat yourself on the back and use code IMA1PERCENTER at checkout for 1% off any order.
(Hey, it's not nothing.)